


Watch Me Unwind

by ClaudiaWrites



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Bartender!Lily, Drama, F/M, Friends to Lovers, I promise, James/Lily through and through, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Romance, Smut, Swearing, explicit - Freeform, jealous!Lily, jily, jily au, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:01:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28238883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaudiaWrites/pseuds/ClaudiaWrites
Summary: Lily Evans hates her job, hates the bigoted customers she has to serve as a bartender at the richest club in the city. But the one person who makes bearing all of it worth it has someone else in his arms tonight.
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Mary Macdonald, Sirius Black/Mary Macdonald
Comments: 45
Kudos: 154





	Watch Me Unwind

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a mindless smutty one-shot, but turned into this fic with an actual plot. What can I say? I have no regrets.  
> P.S. - Smut at the very end, and very explicit.

**Watch Me Unwind**

“You’re drooling again, Lily.”

“I’m not,” she snapped, ironically running her tongue across her bottom lip. “I don’t care.”

“Is that why you’re clutching the glass so hard? Come on, pass it here before you hurt yourself.”

“I hate him.”

“Right,” Mary frowned, her hip jutting out as she leaned against the counter. “I’ll pretend like I believe you because he’s being an arsehole tonight.”

“He’s always an arsehole,” Lily grumbled, tearing her eyes away when a loud giggle ran out across the club, “A very _fit_ one, but an arsehole, nonetheless. I hate him.”

“You don’t.”

“I don’t,” She glared at the floor, feeling anger bubble in her chest, “but how _dare_ he?”

“It _is_ rather uncharacteristic of him. I’ll bet you anything Black put him up to this.”

“Did he say anything to you? Sirius, I mean?” She looked up, her voice flat but eyes curious.

“Our mouths are generally too busy to do much talking around each other.”

“Gross, Mary.”

“I’m just saying,” shrugged her friend. Mary’s brown eyes inevitably traveled back to the young man standing a few feet away, not close enough to hear them but close enough for them to catch everything around him in plain sight. “He _does_ look like he’s making an attempt tonight though, doesn’t he?”

“I’ve no idea what you fucking mean.”

“Oh?” Mary raised her brow, “Are we pretending that you haven’t been checking him out since the second he walked in through the doors tonight, then?”

“I’ve been working, I didn’t notice.”

“Who are you kidding, Lily? I’ve seen at least five men walk away from the counter because you weren’t paying them any attention. And only one of them wanted a drink.”

“Yeah, the rest were too busy ogling my breasts. So, I don’t have any regrets.”

“You don’t seem to mind when Potter ogles them.”

Lily’s bright green eyes snapped to Mary with a furious glare. “We’re not going to talk about him.”

“Lily.”

“I mean it, Mary. I’m done with…whatever it was. Stupid crush. Passing fancy. Whatever you want to call it.”

“It’s been _months_ , Lily. You’re not like me. _He’s_ not like Sirius. You know it isn’t a passing fancy.”

The laughter rang out again through the club as if on cue, and Mary winced while Lily’s face hardened.

“Well, it is now.”

“Maybe if you’d just let me talk to him—”

“No.”

“I’m sure it was Sirius’s idea anyway.”

“He’s a big boy, Mary. He can think for himself. So, thank you, but no.”

“Hey, Red,” A slightly tipsy man crashed against the other side of the counter, throwing a grin at Lily, “Can I get a whiskey on the rocks?”

Lily rolled her eyes before turning around with a sickly-sweet smile pasted on her face. “Sure. Large?”

“Of course.”

Mary gave her one last disgruntled look before turning away to attend to another customer.

Lily filled a glass with the drink and slid it over to the man. “Here you go, sir.”

“Thanks, love.” He said, sliding across a crisp note towards her. Lily looked down at the denomination and cringed, knowing what was coming. The man lowered his voice, leering at her in a way that was only too familiar, but still didn’t fail to make her uncomfortable after all this time. “Know what else is large, babe? My co—”

“Your brag about your undoubtedly gigantic penis is a little too late, I’m afraid.”

“Now, don’t be like that,” He pouted, and Lily almost groaned out loud. He was one of the persistent types. “Such a pretty mouth. I’m sure you can put it to better use.”

“Don’t know about my mouth, but I’m sure I can put my knee to good use near your very precious cock.”

That seemed to do the trick. The man frowned, his upper lip curling in clear displeasure.

“Slut,” he said, gulping down his drink in one go and staggering away.

Lily sighed, feeling a headache coming on. She resolutely kept her eyes trained on her fingers as she reached for the used glass and moved to wash it.

It was not atypical of random drunks to approach her during her shifts. Given that Lily worked at a club that was filled with rich bastards who thought they were entitled to anything and everything—including sex with the bartender—as long as they had the money for it, having just one proposition tonight was actually rather rare.

Lily used to hate her job. Hated all the shameless eyes and faces that spoke to her chest. Hated that she knew she could do much better but was nothing more than a pretty face on a fuckable body to these people. Most importantly, she hated how such self-respecting women from rich families were so good at looking the other way when their companions behaved like lecherous pigs.

But she stayed on. For the money. For Mary. To be able to afford her education and pay back the loans her parents had left behind because Petunia wouldn’t.

And for a while, it had gotten easier.

If Lily was being honest, she knew the exact second it started getting easier.

When he’d walked into her life one night, all lazy smiles and mischievous eyes but an honest, _good_ heart that saw her as a person and not as a showpiece.

* * *

_3 Months Ago_

“I swear if even _one_ more jerk tries to fondle my hand—”

“Throw the drink in their face.”

“They’ll have _me_ thrown out faster than I can say ‘pervert’.”

“Won’t,” Mary smirked, “Tried and tested. Tom’s a bit of a spineless coward if you glare at him right.”

“How did you survive here for two weeks alone, Mary? I’d have gone crazy,”

“Won’t say it was easy,” Mary answered in a moment of surprising sincerity, “But they’re not all bad. Occasionally you’ll have the decent ones come in.”

“Like who?”

“There’s the McKinnons for sure, and the Prewett twins, the Potters too—though they don’t visit all that much. Doesn’t hurt that they have hot progenies, even if one of them is a Black.”

“Can’t imagine how that’s possible,” Lily scrunched her nose. She lowered her voice, eyes flitting around to ensure they weren’t being overheard. “The Blacks are disgusting, pretending like everyone's beneath the dirt under their holy feet. Rather certain I’ve heard them talk about some dark underground business.”

Mary didn’t look surprised at that.

“Everyone knows they’re involved in shady stuff, Lily.” She said, “But not Sirius. He’s unlike them in all the ways that matter. He won’t say much about it, but rumor is he ran away to live with the Potters after a particularly ugly fight one night. This was years ago, so I don’t know for certain, but apparently, there was a lot of cursing and broken glasses. Went on well after midnight when most other people had left.”

“That sounds ominous. Who was on shift?”

“Fletcher,” she rolled her eyes, “And I have it from a good source that he—along with most of the other staff—was paid hush money to keep the gossip under wraps. Terrible embarrassment for the Blacks, or some codswallop.”

Lily shivered, feeling the hairs on her arms rise for reasons other than the leering gazes that were constantly trained on her.

“So, why haven’t I met this Sirius you talk so fondly of?” She asked, not the least bit subtle about changing the topic.

Mary laughed as she carefully skewered an olive on the stick inside a glass of martini. “It’s not Sirius you need to look out for. It’s James Potter.”

“Who?”

“The Potters’ only son—rich and spoiled to his bone—but he’s a good lad.” Her dark eyes flitted to Lily with a suggestive look, “You’ll like him”

“Doubt it.”

* * *

_Present_

“All right, Evans?”

Lily jumped a foot in the air, startled at the voice behind her. The glass in her hand shook dangerously, and she cursed herself for being so bloody _easy_. Heart thundering, she pinched her eyes closed and took a deep breath.

“Shit,” she whispered.

“Sorry?”

“Nothing. Hello, Potter,” Lily turned around, feeling like her jaw was clamping together with cement as she attempted to throw a smile at him. He was painfully handsome to look at. “Good to see you.”

James smirked at her, his glasses sliding down his nose slightly as he reached up to ruffle his hair. “Back to Potter, are we? Thought we’d crossed that bridge already.”

Her stomach twisted unpleasantly. “It’s been a long night, I guess.”

“Ah, another one of those desperate gits?” James frowned, hazel eyes dimming, “Want to tell me about it?”

“Not really.”

“You okay?”

“Mm,” Lily shrugged. She nodded her head at him. “You clean up nice.”

“Er, thanks. It was this charity thing my mum wanted me to attend,” He explained, stuffing his hands inside the trousers of his smart navy-blue suit. Lily’s stomach clenched again, but this time it was not unpleasant at all. “Sirius couldn’t stand it for more than a few minutes, of course. So here we are.”

Before Lily could reply, there was a clinking noise beside her.

“Hi, Potter,” Mary greeted, barely sparing him a glance as she bustled by with hands full of wine glasses. “Good to see you haven’t forgotten my friend.”

Lily’s fists clenched and she bit her lip, torn between turning around and chastising Mary and wanting to see James’s reaction.

The latter urge won out by a mile.

“What?” James blinked, his eyes jumping back down to look at Lily. “I don’t—”

“Spare the act, please. You can tell Sirius he’ll have only his hand for company tonight.”

James’s face blanched at that, and Lily almost laughed.

Almost.

“I seriously don’t—”

“Your companion’s grown tired of waiting, James,” Lily said, promptly schooling her features into a welcoming smile as a petite woman with a flattering pixie cut and light brown eyes approached the bar. “Hello. Good evening.”

“Hi! You must be Lily Evans,” Said the woman with a bright smile. Lily found it difficult to reciprocate her happiness when she noticed how easily her hand slipped into the crook of James’s elbow. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“I’m sure it couldn’t have been too interesting.”

“Nonsense. The boys are very fond of you.”

Lily hated to admit how ridiculously possessive she felt at the utterance of two simple words like ‘the boys’. Because that’s what it’d been inside _her_ head for the longest time— _her_ boys, _her_ James—and she couldn’t help the jealously that bubbled within her for a woman who seemed genuinely wonderful.

She felt sick.

“Er, right. Alice, this is Lily, as you guessed,” James stepped in, his eyes unwaveringly fixed on Lily’s frozen expression, as if he could read every ugly thought that floated in her head. “And Lily, this is Alice Prewett. She’s a childhood friend of ours.”

Lily probably would’ve been embarrassingly relieved at his enunciation of the word ‘friend’ if Alice hadn’t immediately followed his introduction with a coy smile.

“Come on, James. You _can_ call it a date, you know. Lily’s not an idiot.”

It was funny, because Lily certainly felt like an idiot right then. A bigger idiot than anyone she knew.

She felt the heat quickly spreading across her neck, climbing her face and taking residence there. That, coupled with the light pricking behind her eyelids, quickly alerted her to the fact that she’d soon be embarrassing herself in public to a point of no return.

“That’s wonderful. Have a great night, you two,” she mumbled to the floor quickly, feeling a lump rise in her throat.

Shit shit shit _._

She couldn’t possibly have fallen _this_ hard for him!

“Lily?” James’s voice was an ocean of worry and concern that she couldn’t allow herself to drown in. Not anymore. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Fine, just tired. Long night,” She repeated, throwing a quick—fake—smile at them before promptly turning around and untying the apron from around her waist. She didn’t miss how the smiles had completely dropped from their faces.

But she couldn’t care right then. She had to get out.

Lily had never been more grateful for Mary, who had immediately returned to her side when she noticed the tears swimming precariously in her eyes despite her every attempt to blink them back.

“Home. Now,” Her friend ordered, and Lily could do nothing but nod in response. “I’ll finish up the shift and be back in the morning. I’ll cover for you, don’t worry.”

“Thanks. I—”

“It’s alright. Get home safe and text me.”

Lily nodded.

“Need me to call you an Uber?”

“No that’s okay. I’ll manage.”

“Lily?” James’s voice behind her sounded more insistent. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Not now, Potter,” Mary snapped in irritation, her eyes looking past Lily’s shoulder with a glare. “She said she’s tired, didn’t she?”

“What the fuck—”

But Lily didn’t hang around to hear anymore.

* * *

_3 Months Ago_

“You, there!” Someone snapped their fingers, and Lily looked up to find Rodolphus Lestrange, one of their regulars, calling her towards him. His fiancée, Bellatrix Black—a beautiful, sinister-looking woman—was sneering at her openly. “Get me another drink. Quick.”

Lily felt the heat rise to her face, but turned around and prepared the glass of whiskey quietly, counting to ten inside her head.

“Here you are, sir,” She handed him the drink, not bothering with a smile.

It was rather late. The music had already transitioned into a soft melody from the usual loud beats that filled the club. Lily had just been cleaning up while Mary did her business in the loo, looking forward to just returning to the flat and crashing on her bed.

“Evans, is it?” Lestrange slurred, looking down at the name tag on her chest. His gaze lingered on her cleavage shamelessly, and Lily crossed her hands behind her back to stop herself from slapping him. “You’re new.”

“Yes.”

“Count yourself lucky for getting to serve here,” He said with slight disgust, his mouth closing around the glass as he took a sip. Immediately, his face twisted into a scowl. “This is revolting. Did you spit into it, you whore?”

Anger flared, strong and dangerous, in Lily’s gut. “No, sir.”

“Take it back. Get another.”

“It’s just whiskey.”

“I don’t remember asking for an excuse.”

“But I poured it straight from the bottle.”

Lestrange spat into his glass and held it out to her. “Drink this.”

Lily shook with anger and humiliation. “No.”

“Then get me a new drink.”

Bellatrix sniggered, sipping her own margarita daintily.

“Fuck you,” Lily gritted out, eyes blazing.

“What did you just say?”

“I said, fuck you!” She raised her head, fists clenched.

“Now, you listen here, girl,” Lestrange seethed, his hand coming to grip her upper arm painfully. Lily refused to cry out, staring at him defiantly even as the stench of alcohol suffocated her, “You’ve no idea what you’re up against. Someone’s got to teach you your place, you filthy little bitch.”

He dug his nails into her skin, and Lily was certain they’d leave marks.

“Still as repulsive as ever I see, Rodolphus,” said a lazy drawl behind Lily. Quite contrary to the bored emotion in the voice, a pale hand reached out and gripped Lestrange’s arm in what even Lily could tell was a bone-crushing hold.

With a slight hiss of pain, Lestrange let her go.

“Sirius,” Bellatrix spat in greeting, her heavy-lidded eyes burning with hatred. “Where’s your master? Potter grown tired of his lapdog already?”

“Wish I could answer you,” Sirius smiled easily, though his eyes were shards of grey ice, “But I really don’t care to.”

“Lily?” Mary’s voice called out apprehensively behind her. She was eyeing Lily’s quickly bruising upper arm with alarm. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” She shook her head, not wanting her friend to be pulled into the mess.

“Sirius!” Mary exclaimed, blinking in surprise, “when did you get back from France?”

“Just an hour ago. Thought we’d drop by and say hello.”

Lily noticed a genuine grin flash across his face for the first time since he’d entered, and found herself rather shocked at how good-looking he was. Not the kind to make her lose her mind because Lily knew she didn’t go for the conventionally handsome ones, but Sirius Black was beautiful, no doubt about it.

It was no wonder that Mary had difficulty tearing her eyes away from him.

“What’s going on?” She repeated.

“Do me a favor and throw this drink, would you, Macdonald?” Sirius asked in lieu of a reply, forcefully snatching the glass of whiskey from Lestrange’s hand. As Mary’s brows raised skeptically, he flashed her a smirk, “Please.”

“Stay out of this, Sirius,” Lestrange growled, his face growing increasingly red. “That girl needs to pay for her insolence.”

“Let’s not talk about who needs to pay for what,” Sirius turned his steely glare back to him.

“Come on, Lily, let’s go,” Mary whispered, pulling her away from there.

She felt Bellatrix’s hatred-filled gaze on the back of her head the entire way.

* * *

_Present_

She was shivering in the December breeze, her green jacket wrapped around her form as tightly as possible. 

Lily stared down at the phone in her hand and cursed softly as the Uber app refused to show her any drivers nearby. Her tears had mercifully stopped by the time she’d stepped outside, the cold air entering her lungs and making it easier to breathe.

But by the way things looked, she knew she’d probably have to walk back home alone. It was not a very comforting thought.

“Lily!”

The breathless mention of her name made her turn around, heart thumping wildly in anticipation, like it already recognized who it was before her brain could catch up.

“James,” she said, just as out of breath, even though she hadn’t been running as he’d clearly been. “What are you doing here?”

“Thank God you’re still here. I couldn’t just let you leave like—” He struggled, running a frustrated hand through his hair, “What the fuck was that back there?”

The reminder of _back there_ had Lily clamming up again, the picture of Alice and her pretty smile as she looked up at James prompting her heart to squeeze in on itself.

“Nothing.”

“Lily, I don’t know what you think, but—”

“It’s late, James. I have to go.”

“Let me at least drop you off.”

“No!” She blurted, unnaturally fast. James reeled back at the vehemence, a clear look of hurt passing over his face before he masked it quickly. “I mean, er, it’s okay. I’ll…manage.”

His posture was tense now, a muscle ticking in his jaw as he considered her. His eyes were dark pools of honey highlighted by the streetlight as he stepped closer, the blue of his suit contrasting beautifully against his golden skin. The closer he came, the more Lily had to tilt her head back to maintain eye contact—and she _had_ to maintain it. How could she not when he was looking at her like that?

His usual laughter was gone from his eyes, replaced with a seriousness that she rarely got to see. He hadn’t shaved in a few days, so a light stubble was forming over his jaw and Lily wanted to reach out, wanted to touch him, wanted to trace his skin with her fingertips, with her lips, with her teeth…

Heat pooled in her core as he continued to stare.

She didn’t dare breathe, afraid that the fragile moment would be shattered by the slightest disturbance.

“Come with me,” He said, voice husky like she’d never heard before.

“Okay.”

* * *

_3 Months Ago_

“Oh, darling, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have left you there alone,” Mary said, rubbing her shoulders as they gathered their bags and made to leave for the night.

“It’s alright. You couldn’t have known.”

“You’re shivering, Lily.”

“I’m fine,” she said, taking huge gulps of air as she tried to gather her bearings. “It was just so sudden, and I felt so _angry_ —angry like I’ve never been before, you know?”

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you stood up to the bastard. Should’ve thrown in a punch or two for good measure.”

“Oh, I just hope Tom doesn’t create—oomph!”

“Ah, shit. _Fuck_ , I’m so sorry,” said a startled voice as Lily looked down at the red wine staining her blouse with horror, “Are you alright? I didn’t see you—”

And then she snapped.

“Well, that’s the problem isn’t it?!” Lily cried, lost in a haze of tumultuous anger. She was tired, _exhausted_ , insulted and the cold liquid seeping through her clothes finally broke the control she’d held over her tears. “You didn’t _see_ a lowly bartender because why _would_ you? It’s not like I’m a living, breathing person and not some insect to be crushed under your feet. It’s not like I’d _mind_ having wine poured down my front for your sick entertainment. I only exist as a bit of eye candy and maybe a good fuck, right?”

“ _Lily_ ,” Mary said sharply, tugging on her elbow.

There was a beat of silence, and Lily took the chance to inhale a shaky breath, roughly wiping her cheeks with her palm. She was certain that her face was blotchy, and that her mascara had smudged under her eyes.

With the steadying breath came the growing awareness of mortification. Her outburst had been misdirected at some random stranger who didn’t deserve it. She stared at the floor, clenching her fists angrily.

Stupid stupid _stupid._

Before she could mumble out an awkward apology and rush out of there, however, something that Lily couldn’t’ve possibly dreamed of happened.

She felt a flutter of light, cool breeze as a large coat settled heavily around her shoulders, all but dwarfing her as she was enveloped in its warmth. It smelled faintly of cologne and peppermint, and the kindness brought forth a fresh wave of tears to her eyes.

“I can’t have the guilt of making a girl cry twice in one night on my conscience, please,” Said the voice, and Lily finally allowed herself to focus on its owner. “So, it’d be great if you could just call me a bastard or a prick and let it all out in one go.”

She sucked in a silent gasp.

He was tall, _really_ tall. Thin, but strong looking. With the coat he’d been wearing now covering Lily, she noticed that he wore a white shirt with black trousers underneath, and the combination did wonders for him. But before she noticed all that, it was his hair—a delicious mess of jet-black strands—and his bright hazel eyes, framed by rectangular glasses, that caught her attention.

And somehow, despite the fact that she was a mess and had thrown crass assumptions that blatantly insulted his character at him naught but a few moments ago, Lily found her stomach tighten, her thighs clench, and the breath that she’d been holding rushed out of her, embarrassingly loud.

He grinned at her, a wide, pleasant, gorgeous thing.

“Hi, I’m James. James Potter.”

“Lily Evans.”

* * *

_Present_

“Could you at least look at me?”

She didn’t answer.

It had started snowing outside, the gentle white fluffs settling down on the road as they passed by. Some of them had gathered in the crooks of the window, and Lily traced one’s journey as it melted against the glass and trailed down slowly.

She felt James turn on the heater in the car, and rested her head against the window, eyes closing as the warmth comforted her cold face and fingers. The light vibration of the glass against her temple helped soothe her headache somewhat.

“Evans?” James’s voice called a few minutes later. “Are you asleep?”

She resolutely kept her eyes closed and didn’t answer.

Lily had just started thinking that he’d given up—and resented the disappointment that rested like thick sludge in her stomach—when she felt James’s fingers softly ghost her right cheekbone. She suppressed the urge to open her eyes or lean into his touch, and laid still, trying to keep her breathing under control.

“You’re killing me, Lily.”

They continued on in silence after that, James keeping his hands to himself—something Lily was not pleased with, no matter what she told herself—while she was stuck with pretending to be asleep. After what felt like a million years, the car rolled to a stop.

She heard James unbuckle his seatbelt before his hand brushed the hair back from her neck. His knuckles grazed her skin softly, and the butterflies in her stomach lost their marbles.

“Lily,” James whispered her name, softly, reverently. “We’re here.”

She made a show of waking up; blinking her eyes slowly and squinting as they adjusted to the dim light. And even though she hadn’t really been asleep, Lily felt like everything around her had slowed to a gentle rhythm. The car was too quiet, too charged, too _everything_ when she turned to finally look at James.

His chest rose with an audible intake of breath when her eyes settled on his, the greens and yellows and browns in them pulling her in with their entrancing game. He was closer than she’d have guessed, his glasses sliding down his nose slightly and a few strands of hair brushing a little lower on his forehead.

“Hey,” He gave her a small smile.

“Hi.”

“We’re here.”

“Yeah,” she said, unable to look away. “Thanks for dropping me off.”

“No need. You’ve had a long day.”

“Yeah,” Lily repeated, feeling like a large boulder had suddenly dropped into her stomach. She unbuckled her own seatbelt and made to leave. “Good night, James.”

“Lily, wait.”

She pressed her palm against the door and turned to him. “Yes?”

“Are you—are you alright?” James asked, a small frown between his brows, “Are _we_ alright?”

“Yes, James,” She said, taking a second too long to answer.

“It’s just, I didn’t want you to think—Alice is just—”

“It’s none of my business.”

“Isn’t it?” His hazel eyes bore into hers.

But Lily shook her head, feeling more and more like she was going to be sick all over his car. “She seems like a wonderful girl, and I’m happy for you.”

James breathed deeply, his eyes hardening. “Well that’s—okay, then.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“ _Tell_ me.”

“Why should I?” He said, voice soft but laced with a definite undercurrent of anger. “It’s all fine and great when _you_ hide things from me, but I have to lay out everything in plain sight for you, Evans?”

Lily scowled, indignation sparking in her chest. “I’ve never hidden anything from you. I’ve been _very_ clear since the beginning and—and I wish I could say the same for you.”

His loud, bitter scoff shocked her. “ _Clear_? Are you kidding me, Lily? You’ve always had me dancing around you because I’m never sure about what you’re thinking.”

“At least _I_ wasn’t the one who sauntered in draped across another man’s arms, was I?” She fumed, suddenly uncaring about how pathetic and obvious she was being. “If there’s someone here who’s been unclear, James, it’s not me.”

“She wasn’t _draped_ —”

“Well, it was certainly not platonic! You made sure I knew that.”

“I thought you didn’t have a problem with Alice.”

“Is that what this is then?” There was that tell-tale pricking behind her eyes again, “Some sort of ridiculous test to make me look pathetic? Do you want me to admit that I feel jealous and unwanted? Is that it?”

James’s fist clenched against his steering wheel as he stared at her. “Stop it. You know that’s not true.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” She said, stepping out of the car and walking away.

 _“Lily!”_

* * *

_2 Months Ago_

“You know why he keeps coming back every day, don’t you?” Mary whispered into her ear as she walked by with a serving of chicken nuggets and beer.

Lily had been unconsciously smiling at the sight of James and his mates as they laughed at some stupid joke. The smile turned into a grin when his eyes slid to her and he gave her a little wave.

She returned the gesture and turned to Mary, a bemused expression on her face as she considered the strange question. She waited until her friend had finished serving the nearest customer before answering.

“Because this is where every rich prick finds themselves when they’re in the mood to get sloshed?”

“And does James strike you as the sort of prick to care about that? Or does Sirius, for that matter?”

“Well,” Lily bit her lip, “Not really.”

“They never came here nearly as much before their trip to France. And that too because the Potters had to drag them here. But you already know that they’re—”

“Not doing so well now, yeah,” Lily frowned, remembering James’s downcast face as he’d told her about how France hadn’t agreed with his parents’ old age and that they’d both fallen sick. She sighed deeply, “What are you getting at, Mary?”

“Well, so he doesn’t really have a reason to be back here, let alone so frequently, does he?”

“I’m sure you have a brilliant theory to answer this puzzling question.”

“You know what I’m saying,” She answered, smirking enigmatically.

Lily stared, noticing the way Mary pointedly looked at her. She blushed, turning back to wipe the already spotless counter with a rag, a small smile tugging on her lips.

“You’re crazy.”

* * *

_Present_

James hadn’t come after her.

Lily supposed she had no right to be bitter about it, given that it’d been _her_ , after all, who’d stormed away without looking back. Besides, he was now dating Alice Prewett, even if he had been very strange about the whole thing.

Even if he _had_ ditched his date to drop her home instead.

And yet, he hadn’t followed her.

Lily sighed, curling her knees up to her chest as she sat on her worn-out couch, her bum sagging into the already dented cushion. She checked the time, frowning when she noticed that it wasn’t nearly as late as she’d expected, meaning that she had a good few hours before she’d start feeling sleepy.

She unhooked her bra and dropped it against the arm of the couch before reclining slightly, wondering if she could wank herself to exhaustion.

The thought had barely crossed her mind when the doorbell chimed through the silent flat.

Lily grumbled under her breath about having to get up just when she’d gotten comfortable and padded to the front door, wondering whether Mary had decided she’d had enough at the club for tonight as well.

But when she swung open the door, it was to find James Potter standing on the other side, his hair slightly damp as tiny clouds of snow melted on top of his head.

“James,” she breathed, heart skipping a beat.

His coat was unbuttoned, revealing the black shirt underneath. His tie hung loosely around his neck, as if he’d pulled on it sharply in frustration. Lily knew he had to be cold, standing outside in the freezing temperature with snow seeping through his clothes. She wanted to call him inside, wanted to move, do _something_ , but she just stared.

“Hi,” He said finally, eyes bright behind his glasses. He took a step forward, one arm reaching out to hold the doorknob tightly, as if afraid she’d slam it in his face. “Lily. Don’t kill me.”

She didn’t have the time to do anything more than let out a surprised noise from the back of her throat—let alone _kill_ him—before James’s other arm had snaked firmly around her waist and pulled her flush against his wet clothes. Without preamble, his mouth covered hers in a kiss that sent a sizzling spark shooting right to her core, her toes curling against the wooden floors.

After the first brush of his lips against hers, James paused for a second, seemingly waiting to see if she’d shove him away. But he was _mad_ if he thought she had that kind of willpower.

Lily’s fingers clutched the collar of his shirt as she used it as leverage to pull herself on her tiptoes and fit her mouth more snugly against his. Having received all the reassurance he needed, James lifted her clean off her feet and moved inside the flat in one smooth motion, closing the door behind them with his other hand.

He continued holding her against his body while his tongue entered her mouth, making Lily dizzy with the delicious warmth it spread through her. She let her fingers climb higher, one hand entangling itself in the hair she’d always fantasized about touching and pulling. Her other hand came to rest on his cheek, gentle and soft and entirely transparent in its adoration of the stupid, beautiful, kind man in front of her.

“James,” she groaned breathlessly as his lips lefts hers to do a bit of roaming. His tongue flicked a sensitive spot below her ear, and she purred, head rolling black in pleasure. “James, wait.”

“Please,” He implored, arms tightening around her waist, “Please. Let me. Don’t push me away.”

Her heart was a trembling mess as she pulled his face to hers again, this time maintaining enough distance so she could look into his eyes. James set her down on the floor softly, his chest rising and falling rapidly in tandem with hers.

“What was that about?”

“Lily, you—you _know_. You _have_ to know.”

Her eyes flitted across his, looking for what, she didn’t know. But all she found reflected back at her was sincerity mingled with apprehension.

“But…Alice said—”

“She’s like a sister to me! She was just trying to make you jealous!”

“Why would she?” Lily reeled back, thinking of the sweet girl, “she doesn’t even know me.”

“Except that she does.”

“James, I can assure you that I’d never met her in my life before tonight.”

“No, you don’t understand,” He groaned, clutching a hand in his hair. Lily waited for him to continue, but he’d suddenly stopped, hazel eyes caught on something behind her shoulder and mouth parting slightly.

“What are you—?” She followed his line of sight curiously and felt her face burn when she caught sight of the bra she’d so innocently discarded lying there for all and sundry—or just James—to happily ogle.

It was too late to pretend like they both hadn’t seen it, so Lily simply turned back around and shifted slightly to block it from view.

But James’s face was pinched into a pained expression, and Lily didn’t need to look down to know the effect it probably had on him—she’d felt enough and more when he’d been kissing her to within an inch of her life and sanity.

“You were saying?” She mumbled in a shaky voice, folding her arms across her chest before quickly dropping them against her sides again when James’s eyes naturally traveled down to her breasts.

Her nipples tightened against the white shirt at his dark gaze, and Lily was certain he’d noticed when he let out a deep groan. Throwing caution to the wind, James strode forward in two long steps, until he’d backed her against the very couch her bra was draped on.

Lily licked her lips in anticipation, breaths coming out embarrassingly loud as she looked up into his wild eyes. “James…”

“Alice knew you because I _told_ her about you,” He growled, thumb dipping under her shirt to draw lazy circles on the skin of her stomach. Lily felt goosebumps sprinkle and spread over her entire body from that tiny bit of contact. “You’re daft, Evans. You’re the only thing constantly on my mind. I can’t stop thinking about you. These past three months have been the best and the worst sort of torture. A poor bloke can only take so much before he goes crazy. I’d bitten off everyone’s heads with the amount of talking I did about you. And you had no _idea_! It kills me—the way you move around, watching bastards hitting on you left and right, but being unable to ask them to fuck off because I have no right and I—I _want_ you, Lily. I want _only_ you. How can you not know how _much_ I want you?”

His jaw was clenched tight by the time he’d finished, and he let his arms snake around her once again. But unlike last time, he simply held her tight, face buried in the crook of her neck.

Lily’s heart was hammering, elation spreading through her body in a way that left her scatterbrained.

“James,” she said, but he didn’t answer her. “Why—why didn’t you just tell me all this before?”

“Because I’m an idiot,” He breathed into her skin, and Lily’s eyes almost fluttered shut again, “A scared idiot who thought listening to Sirius’s plan would be the smart thing to do. I never meant to hurt you like that, Lily. I swear. If there’s anyone who’s pathetic here, it’s me.”

“Mary guessed as much. About Sirius, I mean, not about you being pathetic,” Lily said, a small smile tugging on the corner of her lips as he let out a breathy chuckle. “James. Look at me.”

He finally extracted himself from her, looking down at her with a carefully controlled expression.

“I still think you should’ve told me.”

“I know. It’s just—I didn’t know if you were—if you felt the same way.”

“And you say _I’m_ daft,” she said ruefully, reaching up to trail her lips across his stubble like she’d imagined doing just an hour ago. She smiled when he shivered under her touch. “How could _you_ not know, James?”

He turned his head so that his eyes were boring into hers again. There was an open, desperate look in them. “Say it. Please.”

“I love you.”

A disbelieving sort of laugh burst out of him before he’d captured her lips again, and Lily sighed into his mouth, feeling like she could float away on a cloud with the amount of lightness in her heart.

Their movements were frantic as their mouths and hands explored skin and touched places they hadn’t dared to before. Lily let out a quiet moan when James slightly increased the pressure of the kiss, his tongue sliding over hers in perfect rhythm.

The sound encouraged him further, and one of his hands moved down to slide over her bum, pulling her impossibly closer, while the other started a steady journey of unbuttoning her shirt.

Lily’s back was all but bending over the sofa as James continued to kiss her, and she gasped when his thumb flicked her aroused nipple in its haste to remove a button from its holder. Her reaction made him pause for half a beat before he did it again, this time deliberately. Her thighs clenched as wetness gathered between her legs, and she shuddered against him.

“James,” she moaned, pulling away her lips to do a bit of roaming herself. Her mouth traveled down the column of his strong neck, finding his pulse point and sucking on it until he groaned. Lily felt his erection press insistently against her thigh, and the sensation made her blind with lust.

“Bedroom,” James hissed, almost as if reading her mind. He picked her smoothly off the floor again, and this time, Lily didn’t hesitate before wrapping her legs around his waist. “Bedroom. Now.”

“Down the hall and to the right,” She ordered, managing to get the words out before she busied herself with tugging on his ear with her teeth and soothing it over with a light flick of her tongue. As he carried her, James managed to pop open the final button on her shirt, which flapped open to expose her skin to the cool breeze.

Lily didn’t mind. She was aflame everywhere.

“Fuck, Evans,” James groaned when he’d laid her down against the headboard. Lily looked up at him with open want, running her tongue across her bottom lip. His pupils had dilated to become almost entirely dark, and he hovered over her with one knee positioned between her legs. “You’re gorgeous.”

“Kiss me.”

He acquiesced almost immediately, bending his head to leave hot kisses, first on her mouth, then on her cheeks, her neck, her jaw. One of his hands was playing with her left breast, kneading and pinching her skin in the most delicious of ways. Lily bucked her hips against the mattress wantonly as the need between her legs grew almost painful.

But James continued his slow torture, dragging his mouth down to her other breast and running his tongue across her nipple; once, twice, thrice, before he finally closed his mouth around it.

Lily hissed in pleasure, threading her fingers through his hair to push her body firmly against his mouth. “That feels so good.”

“I’ve wanted to do this forever,” James confessed, flicking his tongue once more before he tugged on the nipple lightly with his teeth. “I swear Evans, your tight shirt and perfect breasts have sent me home uncomfortably more times than I care to share.”

“And I’ve wanked to the thought of you doing this to me on this very bed more number of times than I can remember.”

James looked up at her then, eyes burning with unrestrained desire. “I want you.”

Lily whimpered. “Touch me.”

His fingers were long and deft as they worked on the buttons of her jeans, quickly opening them and pulling down her zipper with one hand while the other continued to rub circles on her breast. Lily’s breath quickened as he trailed one finger lazily against the waistband of her knickers, never once breaking eye contact with her.

“James,” She pleaded, pulling him down by his neck so that his lips brushed hers again. “Touch me.”

His mouth closed around hers in a searing kiss while his hand finally touched her where she wanted him the most.

Lily gasped loudly, feeling _way_ too good way too fast. The pressure of his fingers was perfect, and James seemed to know exactly what he was doing as his thumb rubbed gently against her clit, eliciting mindless sounds from her.

When his finger finally slipped inside her, first one and then two, Lily cried out, losing control as she started riding his hand with helpless abandon.

“Steady,” He whispered against her lips, his fingers pumping into her in a mind-numbing rhythm. “You’re so wet, Lily. Hold on for a bit.”

“I—I can’t,” She gritted, chest rising and falling as the muscles in her stomach clenched tellingly.

“But I’m not done,” James whispered, pausing his fingers only for a second as he slid down her body, pulling her knickers down completely as he went, slow, _slow._ Once the garment was off and done away with, he climbed back over her, kissing her thighs leisurely before he positioned his head where his hands had been between her legs. He looked up then, a reverent gaze in his hazel eyes that had Lily clutching the sheets around her with shaking hands. “I love you.”

Lily’s head fell back against the wall behind her with the first lick of his tongue against her drenched folds. She bit her lip, closed her eyes shut, and let a moan escaped her, back arching off the mattress.

“ _Fuck_ , James! That feels—feels amazing!”

“You taste amazing,” he said, dipping his tongue into her again and again, his free hand reaching out to grab her hip and hold her in place against his mouth. He continued kissing and licking her until Lily was a panting mess of shaking limbs and breathy sounds. And when he strategically grazed his teeth against her bundle of nerves, Lily came with a strangled gasp, her body feeling exhausted and tired and deliciously _used._

James climbed back over her, licking his lips and grinning down at her cheekily. “Liked that?”

“Hmm,” Lily smiled at him lazily, tracing a finger across his bottom lip before reaching up and kissing him. “Lie down now. It’s my turn.”

He let her lead him onto his back while she climbed on his lap, straddling his hips and removing his belt. She could see his dark trousers tenting visibly against his erection and felt another swoop go through her stomach, aroused once more.

“You’re so hot,” She said, dragging her smaller hand over his boxers once she’d removed the trousers. His penis twitched slightly under her touch, and she licked her suddenly dry mouth. James’s eyes were unflinchingly fixed on her when she caught his gaze again, their color darker than she’d ever seen.

“Lily,” He said. Just one word. Just her name. But it made her feel like she was the most precious thing in the entire universe.

Wanting to make him feel even a fraction of what he made _her_ feel, Lily quickly did away with his boxers, her eyes growing slightly wide at his size. She’d been with a handful of men before him—was definitely experienced in the department—but James was _beautiful._ And she told him as much before her hand wrapped around his length, pumping on his already hard length a few times and dragging out quiet groans from his lips.

That was nothing compared to his sharp intake of breath when she covered him with her mouth, letting her tongue slowly roll over the head of his penis.

“Fucking _hell_ , Lily,” James panted, his hand pushing a few stray strands of hair away from her face to see her better. Encouraged by his reaction, Lily took more of him into her mouth, loving how she was clearly driving him crazy with lust. She sucked in her cheeks and dragged her lips over him repeatedly, feeling quite pleased when he twitched again inside her mouth.

His hand came to cup her face, and Lily looked up to see that he was gesturing her to sit up.

The muscle in his jaw worked furiously as he breathed, and Lily commended him on his self-control, smirking slightly.

“Can we—”

“Yes,” she said immediately.

James nodded jerkily, looking relieved. “C’mere.”

Lily let him pull her closer to him by her hand, and she found herself immediately flipped over, her back against the mattress and staring up into James’s face a second later.

“You'll be the death of me, Evans,” he told her gruffly, leaving a long, deep kiss on her lips that had her reeling.

James’s shirt was quickly chucked off to the side, Lily running her hands greedily over his strong back and chest. Her fingers trailed up and down over the sinews in his arms as James positioned himself near her entrance, prompting her to wrap her legs around his waist again.

“Yes!” Lily moaned, eyes closing in pleasure when he thrust inside her for the first time. James’s own groan rang out in tandem with her exclamation, and he dropped his head on her chest, mouth latching onto her breast once again as their bodies set the rhythm.

With each new push and pull, Lily found herself being driven to the edge once more. James filled her up entirely, both body and soul, and she felt like the biggest idiot for not having done this sooner, _told_ him sooner.

But she’d have time to reflect on that later. For now, she held him tight and allowed him to crash into her as she crashed into him.

* * *

_1 Month Ago_

“I’d marry you, Evans,” James grinned, face tinged rouge and a slight slur to his words as he looked at the girl standing across him. “I’d marry you if you said yes.”

Lily giggled, leaning across the bar counter and mirroring his smile, her own cheeks merrily red. “I’d like that, I think.”

“But would you say yes?” James insisted, slapping his palm against the counter as he stared at her seriously. The effect was rather ruined by his glassy eyes and the hiccup that followed the end of his sentence. "Would you say yes if I asked?"

“Only after I get my degree,” Lily answered reasonably, nodding. Her grin came back in full force a second later. “Would you be up for another glass?”

“Sure. But don’t forget,” James wagged a finger in her face, “I’ll marry you one day.”

Mary and Sirius, who’d been snogging quietly in the corner, broke away at the sound of their silly chortling.

“Think they’ll remember this tomorrow?” Mary asked, raising a brow as she watched them laugh like a pair of right loons.

Sirius rolled his eyes. “We should be so lucky.”

_The End_

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was entirely too long, but I'm actually glad with the way it turned out. Please do leave some comments, thoughts and suggestions. Will be much appreciated!


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